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Feb. 11th, 2006 12:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ivyficIn my quest to watch all things David Hewlett, I just watched "Boa vs. Python" - one of those crappy direct to video Scifi features. So as to not waste my time (ha!) I put the movie on double-speed for all scenes not featuring DH. Since PowerDVD still plays sound at double speed, this saved time and was still incredibly amusing.
Come see Boa vs. Python for:
-A snake in goggles!
-Jokes about "implants"!
-A hundred-foot snake eating a woman out (and by the sounds she was making, he was better than her boyfriend)!
-As much female nudity as you can have in a film and still get it on the scifi channel! (I swear if they spent half the time and attention on the script as they did on framing shots so they showed tits and ass but nothing else, it would have been ... no it still would have sucked.)
-And - best of all - despite it being a creature vs. creature film, they don't fight! They mate! How wacky is that?
What's really wacky is that David Hewlett is the hunky hero of this film. He even gets the bimbo breast-implanted (and blonde) chick! And he has teh angstz0rz for having lost his younger sister to a snake bite, thus prompting him to walk daily into a cage with an 80-foot python named "Betty."
You know, this film almost works if I just reinvision it as the story Rodney is secretly working on on his laptop. Yeah - that would definitely work. His sister tragically died (instead of torturing him through adolescence), the soldiers sent to protect his scientific self are all killed in stupid acts of heroism, he gets the blonde "brainy" chick who bows to his brilliance and understands his pain and lack of social skills, and he saves the day and is declared a hero by one and all.
Now I have an evil plot bunny of Sheppard finding that story on McKay's computer. Oh man. It is definitely, definitely time to go to sleep.
Come see Boa vs. Python for:
-A snake in goggles!
-Jokes about "implants"!
-A hundred-foot snake eating a woman out (and by the sounds she was making, he was better than her boyfriend)!
-As much female nudity as you can have in a film and still get it on the scifi channel! (I swear if they spent half the time and attention on the script as they did on framing shots so they showed tits and ass but nothing else, it would have been ... no it still would have sucked.)
-And - best of all - despite it being a creature vs. creature film, they don't fight! They mate! How wacky is that?
What's really wacky is that David Hewlett is the hunky hero of this film. He even gets the bimbo breast-implanted (and blonde) chick! And he has teh angstz0rz for having lost his younger sister to a snake bite, thus prompting him to walk daily into a cage with an 80-foot python named "Betty."
You know, this film almost works if I just reinvision it as the story Rodney is secretly working on on his laptop. Yeah - that would definitely work. His sister tragically died (instead of torturing him through adolescence), the soldiers sent to protect his scientific self are all killed in stupid acts of heroism, he gets the blonde "brainy" chick who bows to his brilliance and understands his pain and lack of social skills, and he saves the day and is declared a hero by one and all.
Now I have an evil plot bunny of Sheppard finding that story on McKay's computer. Oh man. It is definitely, definitely time to go to sleep.